Function Fashion...whats the point?

The way we chase after happiness and fullfillment is because we become attached to a feeling.

For years I would keep travelling and seeking crazier and crazier adventures just to compete with myself and fill myself with the good feeling of being unique and tell others about my uniqueness. I became very good at feeling so cool.

I thought that real happiness came from this feeling.

Now I am starting to understand that real happiness comes from fullfilling a purpose, knowing the "why" of whatever we are doing and achieving that purpose.

Our ideal purpose as humans is to do for others, to make them happy, in return this actually fills us with real happiness.

Function before fashion:

When things are functional they are useful, they serve some purpose. Hiking boots are durable and waterproof for climbing mountains in all conditions. My headband is keeping my hair out of my eyes. If these things serve their purpose it does not matter what they look like.

Fashionable things are often not very useful, usually quite use-less. They produce a feeling for the user but not much else. Makeup is just used for the feeling it creates, unless it is used As sunblock. A fast sports car looks really cool and gets you somewhere in a hurry but will be useless on rugged terrain or to carry people and things.

Sure, there are practical things we need to do for ourselves such as eat to sustain health or dress warm to not freeze to death, but these are things where the purpose is obvious.

Often, when there is no obvious purpose for an action the reason is most likely selfish. Selfish acts can easily become habit, as I have experienced, and easy to keep us blind to our selfishness.

This habit can then make it very difficult to think of and do for others. For example, if my mother wants me to vacuum the house, my first thought might be "uggghh, I don't want to do that!" and when i am doing it just so she wont get mad, I create an unpleasant experience for myself. Maximum happiness can be achieved if I simply do it because i know it will make her happy, and with this in mind, i can actually enjoy the task.

Make a habit of asking, "why am I doing this?"

Make a habit of only doing for others.

Don't be blinded by the passion of fashion,

Put "fun" in your function!

Compassion Excercise

The Compassion Excercise:

A friend gave me the following excercise on a card that I carry around, and it has helped me to realize the potential of everyone to learn, regardless of how they might seem in the present moment.

Also has helped to lessen the severity of my automatic mental judgment of others based on appearance (fat people, louis vuittoned gucci-d out people , unaware text messagers, heavily makeupd scantily clad women...physical appearances that gave rise to aversion within me) and see through the facade and realize

WE ARE ALL THE SAME!

Happy Practicing : )

THE COMPASSION EXERCISE

"Just Like Me" by Harry Palmer

Honesty with one's self leads to compassion for others.

Objective: To increase the amount of compassion in the world.

Expected Result:: Increase in understanding and a personal sense of peace.

Instructions: This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, events, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively and from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, and despair."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill (his or her) needs."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."

Variations of the Just Like Me process:

Done by couples to increase understanding of each other.

Done on old enemies and antagonists still present in one's memories.

Zen poem by Layman Pang

When the mind is at peace,
the world too is at peace.
Nothing real, nothing absent.
Not holding on to reality,
not getting stuck in the void,
you are neither holy nor wise, just
an ordinary fellow who has completed his work.

My thoughts on True Love

True Love

I have contemplated Love for a few days (and for many lifetimes beyond that) as it is very important to me to understand certain parts of life that need a deep truth-full understanding in order for proper action. I consider heart centered Love to be one of those vital parts, especially when shared with another person .

Learning by doing is great and natural to make mistakes but only if we learn from them and break old patterns to come closer to real...like me 4 years ago in my last real serious relationship which was a combo of dream and nightmare, opposite ends of the spectrum, emotionally supercharged and I vowed to do a bit of soul searching before comitting to someone fully, to understand myself.

So I had a few casual relationships here and there, and kept communication fairly open but often found myself acting out of fear of a repeat of dramaville, and not allowing any woman too close.

Now I think I am ready, and without forcing anything someday hope to give up my life for her, to live only for her, whoever she may be.

Why am I ready?

Because I understand my mind, the impermanence of everything it brings, and learning better and better control my emotions, and to act out of wisdom instead of feeling.

To understand our minds we can understand others, since we all share the same mind.

As for intimate, fully comitted soulsharing relationships, there must also be a clear understanding, an open communication as to what the point of being together is...in anything we undertake we should always ask what the point is. The point of having a soulmate for me would be to be loved unconditionall by someone because I love them the same, complete surrender to someone else so the world may become a bit brighter.

I think the Into The Wild dude said it best that " happiness is only real when shared, " and that is what i am especially experiencing here in Thailand with my sister, my guru, and the couchsurfers that come thru,,,sharing is awesome! Giving without Any desire for compensation is a bit tricky but it is where magic lies and gets easier once the heartwarming benefits pick up speed.

My guru often says: if we dont care for anybody, then why should anybody care for us...and i see by his example that by doing and thinking constantly of others, serves him quite well to be cared for in return.

This way feels so right to me it requires no explanation I simply want a partner who i can live completely a thousand percent for and know in my heart that she is doing the same for me...knowing, not expecting...that is why the communication and constant renewal of eachother and the relationship is key, because uncommunicated expectations create unnecesary emotional tangles.

As far as emotions are concerned, i think true love is an exception in the spectrum...lust, passion, jealousy, infatuation, in-loveness, are all powerful mind/ego emotions that can create turmoil and discomfort and smother that understanding of the point two people unite: to know true, heart based love, calm and peaceful understanding with no room for doubt that these lives that were once two are now one.

So just ask what the point is and be aware of emotions that come up and be honest to yourself and the other person at all costs and co-muni-cate.

I also sorta believe that a man needs a strong woman, but a stong woman is perfectly fine solo...it has to do with the life giving capacity of each...women grow the life and give birth...men have one puny orgasm and all their energy is spent...who has more energy? Goddesses.

But propagation of our species is ideal when there is a conscious and loving mother AND father around.

This is what I think about that.

Today was epic as usual, epic food, been catching up on soooo much meat eating its rediculous, i dont think i was vegetarian in any past lives! Cruisin around the motorbikes in the rain, cruised a bookstore for a bit, then we bought a pound of curry paste to bring home and a whole box of nag champa, and discussed more dharma, specifically the cause of suffering (ego) and seeing everyone as equals and not letting our emotions judge their appearance or actions...the things they dont teach you in college....super!

The Art of Living

From "The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation as taught by S.N. Goenka"

Every human being is conditioned to assume that the real wod is outside, that the way to live life is by contact with an external reality, by seeking input, physical and mental, from without. Most of us have never considered severing outward contacts in order to see what happens inside. The idea of doing so probably sounds like choosing to spend hours staring at the test pattern on a television screen. We would rather explore the far side of the moon or the bottom of the ocean than the hidden depths within ourselves.

But in fact the universe exists fir each of us only when we experience it with body and mind. It is never elsewhere, it is always here and now. By exploring the here-and-now of ourselves we can explore the world. Unless we investigate the world within, we can never know reality- we will only know our beliefs about it, or our intellectual conceptions of it. By observing ourselves however, we can come to know reality directly and can learn to deal with it in a positive, creative way.

Dhamma Pop

I honestly think it is safe to say, "a culture that cannot distinguish illusion from reality will kill itself" the general "we" are trapped in an illusion labeled "reality", and the small percentage of humanity aware of this, do their part and pull their weight to be a useful, compassionate aid to humanity, because the unaware are stuck in an idea of self and therefore live selfishly, but whats the point of living only for your benefit when you share the planet with a few trillion people with who knows how many more unborn awaiting?

We are all the same, rich poor black white, same mind, different form...my only solution is to do my part, because that is all i can do, and never give up hope...awareness, acceptance, compassion, the pandora's box is open, so what are YOU going to do?

Suffering

Why do we suffer?

As long as there is ego there is suffering. The belief of "I am" keeps us under the condition of wanting and unwanting. The holding of any belief as "mine" has the capability of inducing varying degrees of suffering.

Some forms of suffering are small and easy to overlook because of beliefs that have become habit: I am hungry, I am tired.

Suffering on a higher level occurs when our emotions take over completely: My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend and I feel strong anger and hatred; My family died in a car accident and i feel extremely sad and angry.

If we react mentally and/or physically to our emotions, we remain trapped in the cycle of suffering and the same situations will continue to arise in this life and the next.

Even the belief that enlightenment, to completely erase any concept of self and sensual attachment, will take a greAt deal of hard work, gives rise to doubt and laziness, is also suffering.

Thinking is suffering. Life is suffering. It is all because of our mind the way we have known it (and ignored it) all our lives. Suffering suffering suffering...even realizing this I am suffering!

The BEST thing we can do is accept any suffering and acknowledfe its impermanence, the simple fact that it will not last forever. To react in any way will only increase suffering for us and others.

My guru says to think of it as a game and use a playful mind when dealing with everything. The only rule is karma.

Less ego = less suffering, and this is our best option at the moment.

Staying aware and staying in the present moment with our cameras on, observing our thoughts and accompanying emotions.

Being care-full of our words and actions so to not compromise ourselves or our karma...less ego = more thinking of others and doing for others = becoming free from our self.

In the Handbook for Mankind BB says that the first three steps toward right, selfless living, are:

Giving up belief of self.

Giving up doubt (that we are on the right path).

Giving up superstitious beliefs (gods, rituals, santa claus).

"There are no things at all, there is only emptiness, emptiness of self."

We are so very fortunate to have these teachings and tools for our use to become better human beings so that others may learn from our example and raise their awareness as well.

Past life/reincarnation info

http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/personal-growth/past-life/brian-weiss.asp

Practicing Peace in Times of War

Pema Chödrön (Practicing Peace in Times of War)

When you open yourself to the continually changing, impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You're able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open. And you notice when you get caught up in prejudice, bias, and aggression. You develop an enthusiasm for no longer watering those negative seeds,

from now until the day you die.

And, you begin to think of your life as offering endless opportunities to start to do things differently."

Handbook for Mankind...highly recommened

Buddhadas Bikkhu

Handbook for Mankind

"What we must do is to lead the kind of life described as right living,

and be filled day and night with the joy that arises from conduct that is consistently good, beautiful and right.

This limits the aimless wandering of thougts

and makes it possible to concentrate and to experience true wisdom at all times.

Then, if the conditions are right, the result is disenchantment, breaking loose, becoming free.

...

It rests with each of us to practice introspection,

to observe and understand our own imperfections,

and then try to root them out completely.

Even if one is only partially succesful, some clear understanding will result.

As the defilements are progressively eliminated, their place is taken by purity, wisdom and peace."

Affirmation for living my life

Embrace simplicity,

Put others first,

Desire little.

~~Lao Tzu

The following is an affirmation for living that you can read and apply to your life. The ** denote my own personal experience.

Life is uncertain, impermanent, we can only expect the unexpected.

Death is sure. It is undeniable that every body ages, and at some point dies, and death can come at any moment.

So whAt then?

Awareness and acceptace of these simple truths has put me on a spiritual path, a search for deeper meaning to the question "what am I living for?" and "how should I live my life?"

A truthquest with many Trials tribulations and a heap of information i have sorted through to find what is useful and true for me.

**Since a child, i have had an acceptace of death, helping me to not fear it because I know it is inevitable and Im not going to waste energy worrying about something so unavoidable.

Also, now that I understand somewhat that i (whoever that is) have lived countless lives and therefore died many deaths makes the life I am living now seem no different than my previous and future lives. The outward forms may have varied in their appearance but underlying truths and lessons learned (or not) have spanned many of my lives and are most likely stashed away deep in my subconscious (wherever that is)**

Back to life, back to the reality I create, the endless cycle of cause and effect that is so far beyond my control that I have found acceptance to be one of the most useful tools for living.

Expect the unexpected = accept the unexpected = accept life... float down the river rather than trying to stand in one spot fighting the current.

What I can control somewhat, and through training come to control well, is my mind (whatever that is), and the intention i set based on the harvest i desire to reap.

The mind is the base of all thoughts and thoughts give rise to actions, so if i have an awareness of how my mind works: thoughts and emotions, I can then act appropriately in each situation life throws (sometimes launches or hurls) at me and be the useful human I want to be.

Awareness of my emotions helps me to notice the ones that have compromised my actions in the past (jealousy, anger, greed, excitement, restlessness etc.)

Positive emotions can have just as much influence as negative emotions, so I must be aware of all.

Understanding of the impermanence of these emotions is my tool to cultivate a calm mind that is not overpowered in the moment emotions arise. Just breathe, acknowledge, and let go.

The following paragraph is information from the Handbook for Mankind:

The constant practice of moral thought and behavior trains the mind in concentration making it fit for any task it must undertake. This concentration, is the calm that is unswayed by emotions and can produce right thoughts and actions without hesitance, with diligence. The concentrated, smooth operating mind, then gives way to wisdom and insight, seeing beyond right and wrong concepts and only what will be the most useful decision for any situation.

Morality ---> Concentration ---> Wisdom

Do I want to be a good human? Or a bad human I want to be a useful human, which is mostly good.

Why? What's the point?

If I was the only person on the planet, my actions would only affect me, and living would merely be survival for my benefit.

This is not the case.

There are billions of other sentient beings sharing life on this planet. All may appear different in form, but all share the same mind, same desires, same fears, same striving for a pleasurable experience, even same elemental physical makeup.

My thoughts, decisions, and actions affect everyone else as well as myself, even the unborn future generations. This fact I need to keep reminding myself of, especially with habits that i have formed that might make me less conscious of my actions because i am so used to reacting in a certain way

**(getting excited about things is one example of a habit i am working on being aware of)**

Hmmmmm, makes me think that there must be a purpose that we are all so similar; life must have a purpose.

Assumptions are not a useful mind tool but I am going to assume that life is not purposeless. Each human being is capable of intention and conscious decision making, and this cannot be purposeless, if it was I could not imagine an answer to the question "why?"

So if I lived my life completely selfishly, pleasure seeking for my own benefit, delusioned that my actions affect no one but myself **(sounds familiar)** and I die without anyone having any memory of me or my action, can my life be called a success? Was I useful?

In this life, I want to be useful. I see the purpose of so many of us here sharing, is just that, to share, to think of eachother and realize that each of our actions affects others and causes more actions which affect others and goes on and on and on into eternity.

Think for a second if we all were aware of our actions simply because we were thinking of someone else. Think of a world lacking selfishness.

Whoa.

So what to do then with this knowledge, this awareness that I might have finally discovered an answer that is useful?

Do the only thing I can do, using my mind and body as a resource of usefulness and the tools of awareness, acceptance, and compassion to practice practice practice being useful for others, because that is the most useful for my self.

Be the change you want.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"

-gandhi

I would like to see a world full of compassionate, selfless people so therefore I must initiate this change by being compassionate and selfless.

I know how you feel, having this new awareness and focus, and feeling in your heart that it is a powerful tool for the benefit of all, wanting to just shake your loved ones and scream, " Waaaake Up! This is how!"

I once thought this when i found my old beliefs (new at the time) about government and capitalism and healthy living etc. So i went around trying to convert everyone, and judging those who resisted as ignorant, as having something wrong with them, increasing my own suffering and wasting my energy.

And now with yet another set of beliefs and way of living for the benefit of others that same passion has arisen and i just want to go help everyone wake up to their true potential.

But what I realized is that i must practice changing myself first, and take little steps, just focusing on my family, and not compromising my practice for fear of judgment by old friends.

Keep it simple. Just be with your family and friends, doing what they want to do, observing yourself and observing them. Do whatever you can to be there for them in times of need. If situations that test you arise, be strong, but do not provoke those situations, as that will just create confusion and suffering. Stay calm and observant and let your wisdom grow until you are sure of the right things to say to people and understand why they act the way they act.

Also gratitude. Be grateful for the tools you have to make the world a bit brighter each day. We are blessed for all that we have to share!

Middle Men

Middle Men

Watched an interesting film called Middle Men the other night. With help from Tom I realized that the main character was able to succeed by following the middle path.

He was not too ignorant or stupid to make bad decisions, nor was he too smart and analytical of every siuation to give rise to confusion as to what the right decision is ( that indecisive feeling has driven me crazy many times!). Both of these characteristics, if we are unaware, will surely create unnecessary suffering for us and others. They also make us miss the point. And the point is: dont miss the point!

Instead, he was calm in all situations, accepting of all situations, and was able to act in a right manner even if it meant danger to his life. Not thinking too hard and losing focus but not acting mindlessly either.

Thinking about this has made me understand further the importance of acceptance of everything and everyone, and the awareness of the emotions that arise each time, to train this awareness and practice handling emotions so they do not handle me.

We are faced with many decisions everyday, many of which are "no brainers", meaning the right decision is obvious and we have no problem making it without thinking too hard, but it is made consciously at the same time, without thought, simply intuitively.

Other decisions might be much more difficult seeming but if we practice "no brainer" wisdom we can train ourself to make wise decisions every time.

Having the awareness that every decision we make is final and cannot be reversed is also important. If we make the right decision, we can move forward. If we make the wrong decision which brings about more suffering for us and/or others, then we do not progress and will have to keep facing the same situation ( karma) until we learn to make the right decision.

Practice practice practice, aware aware aware, grow grow grow. Living and learning sure are interesting when I am aware, and through my practice I do my duty as a human sharing life with other humans. If anyone else has any experiences with good/bad decisions and your practice of the middle way please share, and have a look at the movie if you get the chance, it was entertaining and insightful.