tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55563869762303060382024-03-12T19:30:38.839-07:00WanderingsGriggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-86866514200433016242012-07-26T19:02:00.000-07:002012-07-26T19:02:01.306-07:00today's quotes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"We are all going hungry in a Universe that constantly eats itself"<br />
-me<br />
<br />
"The only downhill to no uphill is now downhill"<br />
-Az</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-13575562385051861672012-05-22T18:32:00.001-07:002012-05-22T18:32:13.869-07:00"i know that i dont have to trouble myself with all this phantasmal multiplicity---but i do for the hell of it."
Kerouac in 'Some of the Dharma'
My worst fear at the moment is always being just a little bit bad while trying to be all good, because being bad is entertaining to the senses in precisely a 'just for the hell of it' way.
Temptation of the senses gushing phantasmal multiplicty.
All I really know is that I dont't KNOW, but just for the hell of it I will tell you what I THINK I knowGriggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-40845962286371908312012-05-18T18:31:00.000-07:002012-05-18T18:31:58.737-07:00The weight of the world is LightI care. About all of you. I wish you All well.Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-17649760785996468102012-03-25T06:00:00.003-07:002012-03-25T06:10:13.095-07:00can't get out? get IN!<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;" > <span class="kH">I was quiTe shellshocked for the first few months being home, so many unanswered questions for the future burning my mind constantly, always finding a way to explain my situation to others (not really knowing my situation in the first place). I had built a large comfort zone in the world of travel and pleasure seeking and now I was in a place far from that comfort zone...</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="kH" style="font-size:100%;"> so "if you cant get out of it, get into it" (i heard that the other day).<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="kH" style="font-size:100%;"> What has helped me is being patient and being present. I am a daydreamer and have a million dreams per day but have slowly worked on my mind to stamp them out before they become an unnecessary wild fire.<br />Sending wishes to those in my life, primarily family, and setting the intention for a bright future is much more simple then getting lost in my mindmess.<br /> With my parents I just keep practicing patience, and thinkin before talking/reacting. Paying attention to them and thinking about them more (like just a phone call during the day) is what I am working on now.<br /> When we just relax and accept our situation there is really a whole lot to be grateful for and that is what keeps me going and not paying attention to silly desires to travel and pleasure seek, as there is plenty more value I am finding in local interaction and building relationships.<br /> So now 5 months at home and I have. Noticed many improvements in home life, work life, and social life. Just go with the flow and not be worried about having your ideal imagined future, but just knowing, really in the heart knowing, that abundance lies within, and will surely radiate out to the life you build around you...this is a fact of science, the laws of nature!<br />As for the people around me, i have for long time been very instantly judging of people, comparing them to my ideal view of the world. And then, i dont know when, i decided to accept the Reality that Is, and focus my actions in Creating the Compassionate Reality I want to see. It is a slow and shifty process. I look at alot of people everyday. Sometimes just a glance, and sometimes a stare. This almost always occupied by a string of thoughts.<br />An example:<br />I pass by a McDonalds and see a father and his kid eating:<br />I used to think: "how cAn he feed his child such shit food?, what is wrong with these people? Poor kid will probably grow up fat and have health problems. Mcdonalds, fucking evil bastards taking peoples money and feeding them shit!"<br />All this from one glance.<br />Poor me.<br />Then when i started to observe these thoughts and question them and understand this is the egos clever trickery of convincing us that we are the knowitall centers of the universe.<br />Now the same glance:<br />There might still be the hint of "i know that food is not nutritious" however the thought is redirected towards the positive, because perhaps my negative thought can in some quantum way make their experience more negative. "i see what i see, it is there, i am just seeing. Good for the father to spend time with his son, i hope they are having fun enjoying their food. I hope the father provides the best he can for his child, cute kid.<br />It all depends how you (the objective observer) see it (the external environment), and in what way it gets processed by your subjective ego-eye.<br />One last thing, about peoples faces looking. If they look grumpy angry or sad, first of all, am I superhuman that I can know this about a person i have just seen?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="kH" style="font-size:100%;"> I have long convinced myself I know what people are thinking.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="kH" style="font-size:100%;"> Even if you ask them, you still dont know if they are telling you the truth. So I use the weakness of my wild imagination, as a strength and imagine them in a moment of laughter and happiness, because surely they have laughed or smiled at some point in their life. Then this may in some quantum way get them feeling a little lighter if they actually are grumpy angry or sad.<br />So, because I have gotten into this I have alleviated the thoughts of wanting to get out...when i was On the Road I always had this itchy anxiety of what was next, how to plan my escape from anywhere and get out, and then there would follow a small, fleeting buzzy high upon my exit and the pattern would repeat. this kept me in the daydream and out of the present (gift) quite often. The wonder-full present has now shown me its gift and I understand its pricelessness a bit better, and i gladly accept it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="kH" style="font-size:100%;">We must accept it, and get into it.<br />Keep sending wishes, and being mindful. Especially those who have just returned home. The shellshock will wear off, and you will become truly useful to All.</span></span></div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-30756537429570303752012-03-11T14:46:00.001-07:002012-03-11T14:46:56.355-07:00Fail to live, live to fail<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hzBCI13rJmA?fs=1" width="459"></iframe>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-16004850308068632122012-03-10T15:21:00.004-08:002012-03-10T15:24:03.211-08:00I've got a train to catchThe train of Awareness does not leave the station. It is waiting for You. No need to rush, but the sooner you get on it, the sooner you can Love where it takes you, because it goes Everywhere! Once On, you stay OnGriggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-61047909186927007162012-03-10T15:21:00.001-08:002012-03-10T15:21:35.694-08:00GIYDIY has evolved into GIY: Google It Yourself, or, 'If you don't know, ask' has evolved to 'If you don't know, just google it'...I wonder if Darwin could have seen this one coming, i think its pretty coolGriggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-28345051366524149402012-03-07T18:22:00.001-08:002012-03-07T18:22:50.494-08:00Rickshaw Wisdom of the Day:<div>Time and Money. </div><div>Two of the best Pink Floyd songs. </div><div>Two 'ideas' that balance eachother out. </div><div><br /></div><div>spend time, save money...spend money, save time. </div><div><br /></div><div>then REALIZE they are not even REAL! </div><div>Holding on to either of these (or any ideas)</div><div> will scorch you like the first bite of a Hot Pocket that you were too impatient to let cool. Be cool, let it cool.</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-88328076582365128022012-02-16T18:39:00.000-08:002012-02-16T18:40:08.811-08:00Meditating is soooooo boring<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; ">"You should all bear in mind that this practice is difficult. To train other things is not so difficult, it's easy, but the human mind is hard to train. The Lord Buddha trained his mind. The mind is the important thing. Everything within th<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; ">is body-mind system comes together at the mind. The eyes, ears, nose, tongue and body all receive sensations and send them into the mind, which is the supervisor of all the other sense organs. Therefore it is important to train the mind. If the mind is well trained all problems come to an end. If there are still problems it's because the mind still doubts, it doesn't know in accordance with the truth. That is why there are problems. " <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3b5998;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="cursor: pointer;"><a href="http://www.ajahnchah.org/">http://www.ajahnchah.org/</a></span></span></span></span>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-51974063731570385302012-02-16T18:14:00.000-08:002012-02-16T18:25:03.110-08:00Prent Moment Wisdom<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiys3zvnj2BCPxC7vTCWQsQk5Rr-aCYyuou6gHsNxx4hmPlxtqsAfDUDWANWL1_5m6vE8zZbbQroZT_-AwPhefdCtJSfolLGtYGBYddhFgq8EDV8m5v5uQuGD0naXroeVxoUwodxixC4/s1600/Good+one.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 205px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiys3zvnj2BCPxC7vTCWQsQk5Rr-aCYyuou6gHsNxx4hmPlxtqsAfDUDWANWL1_5m6vE8zZbbQroZT_-AwPhefdCtJSfolLGtYGBYddhFgq8EDV8m5v5uQuGD0naXroeVxoUwodxixC4/s320/Good+one.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709922377379801506" /></a>why is mindfulness so important? In the present moment I observe what is really going on, what is happening NOW, I start to notice patterns in my ways of thinking and reacting to life's situations, and I begin to understand my conditioning, and I begin to observe the moments more an more and to investigate the root of my thoughts, and to let go of dreaming and doubt and let the bright light of the present shine through and clarify everything, and by calming the conditions the seed of Wisdom can flourish, and the Wisdom tree show me my connection to everything and helps me branch out to the Others sharing in this Life Experience, and the vines are intertwined so I cannot simply do something without it not affecting somebody else, so I have a duty to leave the best effect I can and selfishness just will not suffice, but selflessness takes diligent practice and observation and questioning the conditioning of decades of wanting and unwanting and sensory intercourse with my environment...after all Uncle Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living" . . . MY LIFE IS WORTH LIVING, so I stay present, and wherever my thoughts travel, I bring them back to present so that i can see clearly, and examine in a correct way this thing I call Myself and create that worth that will add the most Beauty to the path I walk along.Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-39334906799856878502012-02-16T18:13:00.000-08:002012-02-16T18:14:29.694-08:00Explain it Einstein!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RI9Px-D9dixJBvl4nCLa1-4eHPuJlVmVZK5eJ5Kf4dD1PsLoiXfP0j-CAJv8h1TQBPcwFU27CcGAQmsOrcMD0TEBfbABQCboqmlFQQyzoBB01vGpzSicas34jaGCVkZdSFP_mWttoPE/s1600/tumblr_lk42rpLVOr1qbr8m0o1_500.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RI9Px-D9dixJBvl4nCLa1-4eHPuJlVmVZK5eJ5Kf4dD1PsLoiXfP0j-CAJv8h1TQBPcwFU27CcGAQmsOrcMD0TEBfbABQCboqmlFQQyzoBB01vGpzSicas34jaGCVkZdSFP_mWttoPE/s320/tumblr_lk42rpLVOr1qbr8m0o1_500.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709922176054420722" /></a>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-51911395871762701922012-01-09T13:05:00.000-08:002012-01-09T13:09:51.890-08:00Who? Me.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; ">For several years before coming to Thailand I was a seasonal gypsy breaking further and further away from the perceived 'restraints' of modern capitalist society. Having grown up in an urban environment (NYC) with parents who gave me everything and an education that trained me to be a complacent worker I was living life for money and self -enjoyment. After university I was hustling freelance work in the city and then almost got a cool job driving the Red Bull cars around giving out Red Bull, but after a long interview process and building up huge expectations of how awesome life with a good job would be, they didnt give me the job because of points on my driver's license. I was crushed by this and decided that i would pursue enjoyment instead of money so I left everything behind to go snowboarding in Oregon for one winter. That winter opened my eyes to Western living and a vastly different and more natural way of life than i was used to. Fast forward 5 years and I had lived no more than 5 months in one place, not worked very hard, enjoyed myself pursuing passions such as travel, snowboarding, surfing, bicycling, and consuming psychadelic drugs. I had simplified life, living very cheaply, and very proud of my power to manifest such a fruitful life without material restraint and responsibility; I was a "hippy" going "full weirdo for the commonfolk" as I often put it. I was all about peace and love but felt a big feeling of "us vs. them" meaning I had an understanding of the way life should really be but there was so many people who were merely pawns of the system, asleep, depressed, eating shitty meat and processed sugars and I had to wake them up. This gave me a frustrated feeling and assured me that i could never live within "normal" society ever again. I had acquired piles and piles of spiritual and metaphysical knowledge, but no real understanding of much (kind of like a jack of all trades, master of none). So this past summer I set the intention to have a life changing experience, accompanied with a strong feeling that I had progressed to a point where change was inevitable. The form of this life changing experience was to take place somewhere in northern scandinavia (because I heard that getting as close to the magnetic poles of the earth has a profound effect) pedaling my bicycle around on LSD or mushrooms until I reached enlightenment or at least breached the three dimensional restriction of this reality. While I was making preparations for this journey I was emailing my sister Katina and she was seriously blowing my mind with what she was telling me based on her time at Baan Kiri(my guru Tom Light's guest house), and I was amazed that she was going to Vipassana...Here was my little sister schooling me on ideas that made complete sense that put certain things into perspective that had been fuzzy previously; about karma, and compassion, and selfishness especially. I found this to be truly cosmic, and when she offered to buy me a ticket to Thailand, one way, I quickly said yes, and then dealt with the anxiety of wanting to change my mind later. That is how I ended up meeting Tom. I remember my first few nights at Tom's, laughing myself to sleep in utter disbelief that THIS was the lifechanging experience i had set the intention for, because as much as I wanted to run away and never come back, what i had heard was making too much sense and although I knew it would be difficult, a big part of me was willing to accept the difficulty just to see what was next....This was a big step for me because I usually made difficult things easy by running away from them. I still struggle sometimes accepting my duty to do for others, when i was so used to doing for myself, but the Buddha's teachings of impermanence reminds me that these feelings are only temporary, and there is something magical in pleasing more than just my self. </span>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-48846195585478565692011-11-27T18:12:00.000-08:002011-11-27T18:13:21.634-08:00Full time living<div>Full time living.</div><div>Living life is like a full time job, fuller than full. If we can see it as such, then any job we have in our life becomes a part of living instead of separate from it. </div><div>We often hear terms like "social life" "family life" and "work life" which creates segregation and makes it seem as if one person is living multiple lives. </div><div>The result of this makes people act differently depending on which life they are in, so then how can someone ever come to know themselves?</div><div> Some people might think they should not have to do anything resembling work if they are not at work, or they are not allowed to be playful with their coworkers as they are with their children. I have often heard, "i just don't have the time to...because I am at work all day and get home late and am very tired." </div><div>This kind of practice prohibits renewal of ones beliefs (asking "why do I live this way? who am I living for?") and leads to being stuck in certain ways. Life is everchanging and we would be best advised to flow with it, instead of becoming stuck.</div><div> I remember how my mother would get if she felt like she was doing all the housework, and would get emotional and say "I work really hard everyday and I deserve a little help around here/should not have to do so much housework after a long day at the office"</div><div>She has every right to ask her family for help, but as we know, getting emotional effects others just as much as it effects us. </div><div>Emotional blinding keeps people from the realization that they chose everything they burden themselves with and the power of acceptance to help them deal with everything as it comes, thus lessening this treacherous feeling of burden.</div><div>With my new understanding of karma, I realize that hard work really does pay off, like a sales job where the harder you work the more you gain. This payoff is then sure to motivate continued hard work. The same hindrances will appear no matter what form of life we are in so just because there is no boss looking over our shoulder at home does not mean the karmic impact of our actions is any different. I think most people are living life at minimum wage standards, simply maintaining existence without a clear idea of what they are living for, And this creates more work for others who live with an awareness of the responsibility of being human. Luckily, the ones with a blessed awareness of their Divine Nature are accepting of this extra load and happy to help others to awaken.</div><div>We are very much a monkey see monkey do species, learning from our parents and surrounding environments, so when selfishness, both subtle and extreme, is prevalent, we accept it as the norm, thinking, "life must be about living for me, increasing my comfort zone, learning for the sole purpose of progressing my self".. And progression in today's modern system is mostly measured by your individiual material gain. This creates competition and a survival-of-the-fittest attitude. I believe one of the factors contributing to global warming is a rise in peoples body temperatures as a result of increased stress and overthinking...there was alot less taking place in the human mind just centuries ago.. .it is a pattern that has taken hold of greater humanity, and oftentimes, deviations from this pattern: selflessness, deep spiritual beliefs, a disinterest in the "norm"* raises eyebrows and seems strange.</div><div>I strongly believe that not everything is as it seems, and my path in this lifetime has shown me that there is something more powerful than the material world, that there MUST be a reason why us humans were put here, and why precious Life was created in the firstplace, WHAT is the other 92% of our brain doing? A human's mental capAcity is as limitless as the sky above our heads, and I think it is no coincidence that both inner and outer worlds (All) stretch infinitely in all directions. </div><div>Talk about intelligent design! </div><div>If we can imagine heaven we can surely create it, just like when we were children, and our imaginations swore to us that what we were thinking WAS real. We are all connected, so when one person breaks out of old selfish patterned living and creates a strong link in the Divine web, Light can only flourish from then on. We were given thought and we were given choice, and I think it is safe to say our Designer wanted to paint a beautiful picture.</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-40948480532287829072011-11-15T19:42:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:45:03.123-08:00Holding!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">My monkey mind was holding onto fear and doubt alot this past week. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">I have been home for almost three weeks now and got 5 days of work immediately which was good and occupied my time and got me excited to get more work ( I usually do event/promotional work which means i have to keep finding it ) but then I havent found anything more even though i have been applying for so many gigs and random jobs through a website here that makes that possible. <div> So It has been ten days now with no work, and in those days I had alot of down time where i found myself stuck in my head: fear of the future, fear of the ways of the Matrix and how everyone I know has had a head start and are comfortable with jobs and money while I was out wandering around like a little kid, doubting my abilties in such a fast paced high tech city and ways that I am not accustomed to, wanting to move back to the mountains, wanting to escape to comfort bla bla bla...</div><div>I could see my holding was so intense and it made me lazy at home, having to force myself to do what my parents needed doing. My sister and I did a cleanse with 5 days of no eating which made me make an excuse for being more sluggish. </div><div> I still knew the point, the clear water, but the murky particles were all gathering and moving around in the glass so much that i didnt have time to just appreciate the clear water. </div><div>One thing happened which really helped me though, and that was when my mom was being really emotional over an inheritance battle she is involved in with her brother, and she said how much she loves hearing mine and kat's voices and having us at home...that sorta made me kick myself real quick an think, "you idiot, you are here for them, that IS the point!" so the last two days have been much easier to just be in the moment and keep my siin (balanced mind) flowing, doing things for my parents and just switching the focus to NOT me. </div><div>The question I have from observing my weeks at home so far is this: <div>Does holding on too tightly to good feelings (when i found work immediately and just that general fresh start motivation I seem to get everytime I begin a new phase) give us more of a challenge when the good feeling is gone? Like the escalator example; If we start running as fast as we can up the down escalator, will we eventually have to stop to catch our breath and end up being brought past where we started running at? Does holding too strong to good or bad feelings switch the focus to ourself and make it more difficult to think of others? </div></div></span></div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-9533173523456383322011-11-15T07:36:00.000-08:002011-11-15T07:37:28.516-08:00Wanted: calmed mindsThink of this (ha no pun intended): if we cannot even control the thoughts and imagination of our mind, what makes us think* we can control anything? This idea confirms my belief in an enlightened state, where the mind is completely still, a void allowing the REAL (my best way of describing the true nature of things, opposite of this three D illusion) to come through crystal clear hi def divine satellite transmission....basically, I believe that the world needs more calm minds NOW!Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-69131660725375172102011-10-24T05:30:00.000-07:002011-10-24T06:31:43.719-07:00Death DreamTo me, dreams are just another means to raise an eyebrow and a reminder that life is a truly intricate design worthy of respect and awe. I used to try and draw meaning from my dreams, especially the few that have very directly connected to my waking life and even sort of predicted the future, but like anything metaphysical, and the simple fact that I cannot really KNOW anything, I decided it was a waste of energy to go any further than awe and respect. I tried reading Carl Jung's book on dream analysis once and it was so bloody complex and intellectualy ornate that it helped me with the realization that some things are just better left unanalyzed.<br />Things such as dreams, and non-linear time, and no-such-thing-as-self, and the current three dimensional reality being limited to our five senses and the mind (what does the other 92% of our brain do?), and auras and crystal energies, and enlightened individuals that can perform miracles (real life superheroes!), and so many interesting things that cannot be easily directly experienced and is really just for intellectual (or wannabe-intellectual) speculation; the useful stuff involves this three dimensional sensual and mental reality that I am an active participant in right NOW.<br />In this age of efficiency I am not trying to waste any time (time, ha!), but I am pretty damn good at it.<br />My dreams, when remembered, put little quizzical grins on my face before I get out of bed, and I usually will share them with my company that day to see who else is experiencing mind boggling dream-reality.<br />Last night I had a death dream, where I was taking part in a sort of game where I choose three ways to kill someone, and kill them those three ways and then they get to kill me in three ways of their choosing. I cannot recall the ways in which I killed, but when it was my turn to be killed I remember hoping that the methods would not be very painful. One of the methods was going to be extremely painful and brutal and I was overcome with a terrible momentary feeling fear of this pain, but then I told myself that it is part of the game that I chose to play and I must play by the rules. I cannot remember much more except that I laid down to be killed one of the times and had accepted my fate because dying was just a physical thing and did not effect my spirit.<br />Lately my dreams have involved strong emotions and sensations that seem very real at the time; like being determined to learn to fly and knowing I can if I keep trying; and enjoying playing a soccer game against children because it was so easy to score goals; and thinking my friend was crazy for smoking some kind of strange drug with the texture of sea sponge but smoking it anyway so I would not be judged by him; and seeing a full moon so close and so bright and then it did a complete 180 and I saw the Dark Side of the Moon right infront of me but felt that it must have been me who flipped because the moon does not rotate; and being really jealous because a girl I really like (in real life and in dream) chose a pro surfer instead of me.<br />A friend of mine told me the other day that in a few days there will be a cosmic event that will influence our dreams and bring them closer to our waking life, or something along those lines. Speculation to keep in the mental rolodex for cross referencing with my upcoming dreams.<br />If you are reading this and thought of interesting dreamworlds ou have visited recently, please share them, my eyebrows can always go higher on my large head.Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-79435204023215758782011-08-23T03:59:00.000-07:002011-08-23T04:04:35.475-07:00Bon Voyage Kaleb (collub)<div>Kalebs parting letter</div><div>The following is a parting gift to my good hobo bicyclist brother Kaleb before he sets out on a 9 month pedal across Asia in search of, well, mainly food and shelter, and alot of confused looks from locals. Mays his days be filled with pedaling pavement and prosperity, and maybe a bit of that other p-word men seem to love so much. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Parting words....been reading Rumi slowly these days just for kicks since im just kicking it with my 86 year young grandmother who gets drunk off a glass of wine and tries to turn on the television with the telephone...ah to be old and wrinkled, someday someday, </div><div>but now we embrace youth! (remind me i said to remind me to say i said to say that when i am wrinkled, remind me)...</div><div>
<br /></div><div>"dont be a searcher wrapped in the importance of his own quest"</div><div>
<br /></div><div>On your journey, just represent humanity in the best way possible, </div><div>lend a hand whenever you can, </div><div>expect only the unexpected, </div><div>and heed the call of each days blessing, </div><div>even if you are bug bitten and have the shits those are the times to feel the blessing even more...</div><div>bike touring is lucrative for the ego as you return home to constant showers of oooos and ahhhhhs and "i wish i could do thats"...</div><div>thats not the point...</div><div>forget the destination, you know you will get there but once you arrive the next journey has already begun so do we ever really arrive anwhere?! </div><div>Think about that...</div><div>just be now. </div><div>How does one person maintain sanity sitting in the same room their entire life? </div><div>Simple, they just look at that room each morning for the first time...</div><div>that sounds insane but who is really sane anyfucking way?</div><div>
<br /></div><div>"when someone is counting out</div><div> gold for you, dont look at your hands,</div><div> or the gold. Look at the giver."</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Look at the giver</div><div> Look at the giver.</div><div>Look at the giver.</div><div> Look at the giver.</div><div>That one is self explanatory, but know that the giver is all around you and you are the giver too!</div><div>Dont forget to smile at everything and laugh even at times when you want to curse the evil bastards that burned you or the chick you thought was a chick but now her huge boner is rubbing against yours...</div><div>laughter is the best medicine, </div><div>if i see you crying or complaining im gonna come slap the shit outta you and make you piss your pants with laughter.</div><div>I know you get the point, </div><div>but you may think you are going on a grand bicycle journey in a faraway land.</div><div>That is not true. </div><div>You are just sharing life on a planet as a human with other humans looking for a good time the same as you, </div><div>no different, </div><div>no differences...except you will be in spandex, which will make people piss themselves with laughter so that puts you on the right track already.</div><div>Im sorry for all the meat i couldnt share with you last summer, and all the meat you missed out on as a result of my selfishness...as if we could afford it anyway,</div><div> but now i put fang to flesh on the daily...</div><div>life is too short to not fully integrate into humanity, </div><div>like a true mothafucking chameleon. </div><div>The fringe is nice for a glimpse to see whats out there (and far ouuuuut have we gone!)</div><div>but those gathered in the middle are keeping the core nice and warm and I like a good snuggle.</div><div>Snuggle nuggle,</div><div>C</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-45396797107914919972011-08-22T08:38:00.001-07:002011-08-22T08:38:58.010-07:00Free knowledge!!!<div>Open your eyes! The best teachers are all around us in......</div><div>N A T U R E</div><div>Live like a sun, let everything you touch grow.</div><div>Live like wind, bypass obstacles on your way, do not try to move them.</div><div>Live like water, change shape, color, and taste depending on where life carries you: FLOW!</div><div>Live like earth, be patient and accept everything that gets put on you.</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-51441047343971110282011-08-20T01:29:00.000-07:002011-08-20T01:30:25.840-07:00Strength versus FLEXIBILITY<ul><li></li><li>I recently posted this status update on Facebook: </li><li>"If you are strong, opposing forces will crash and smash into you, if you are flexible, you absorb the opposing force and slingshot it right back into itself, leaving no effect on yourself, yeah? "</li><li>...and my friend replied "depends on the situation, yeah?"</li><li>...so I thought about it for a bit and replied:</li><li>
<br /></li><li> Im back in the matrix now so I'll keep my eyes open for examples in my experience, but I'm pretty sure that flexible provides the best possible outcome...it indicates a passionate level of acceptance, and an open-mindedness that does not stand against anything, but WITH everything. </li><li>There is strength in flexibility but very little flexibility in strength, if any at all. </li><li>Nature is flexible, therefore so should we be, as we are merely natural processes with intention. </li><li>I believe that a strong mind is a closed mind, such as I have been in the past, creating a separation between me and others by holding onto certain beliefs of "i am" so strongly, making these opposing forces affect me negatively, because I knew best and everyone should surely do as I do, "but why can't the just fucking wake up!?" </li><li>The ego is a clever little devil and will justify its egocentricity in ways so subtle that I could not even realize how big my ego was (because I was so spiritual and pure blah blah blah). Its just a big swirl of cause and effect out there, in here. If we understand the cause ( mind ) we can produce positive effects ( actions ) now, but must accept our karma from the past, and not try and go against it and create more negative karma. </li><li>Karma is a whole nother issue I have been educated on recently, and that is why I believe in flexibility and a true going-with-the-flow-of-everything attitude. I do what I can do and practice keeping the ego-enablers quiet in the corner of my monkey mind (monkey because the mind is always moving but can be calmed) and produce positive actions that help others. Life is awe-full!"</li><li>
<br /></li><li>Do you have any examples of how flexibility is preferable to strength?</li></ul>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-5495748610401190762011-08-02T02:48:00.000-07:002011-08-02T02:49:48.171-07:00The camera technique<div>The camera technique (objective observation of the self, like having a camera pointed on yourself) is a tool for practicing mindfulness, to be aware of the present moment. By practicing observation of my thoughts and actions in each moment I have begun to understand my self more clearly. I can see the benefit of care-full observation in order to act appropriately in each situation, with the ultimate goal (without wanting) of being the most useful I can be for others.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I am listening to someone, I practice listening, focusing my attention on them. When I am driving, I am focused on driving, when eating, I focus on eating. When I am contemplating, i focus on the object of contemplation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anywhere my thoughts might drift during these moments, i observe them, and then patiently return to the present. I say patiently because there have been times where i get angry or frustrated with myself for losing focus, which is silly; to become excited that i am doing it right or to get nervous that i am doing it wrong is wasted energy. The middle way is patient, not strict or overwhelming.</div><div><br /></div><div> After all, a lifetime of habitual daydreaming does not change overnight. Mindfulness must be made habit through consistent practice. Tom describes a tap dripping water into a cup: if the dripping is consistent, the cup will eventually fill up (with awareness) but if there are only a few drips here and there, the water has time to dry up before accumulating.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I left for vipassana 7 weeks ago, Tom told me to not worry about the form but to remember the tool. The tool is mindfulness, and by practicing consistently we are basically meditating all day long, everything becomes a meditation. The present moment is where we must exist, because it is real, unlike the past or future.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can safely say that I have noticed progress in my practice in these past seven weeks. My quality of thoughts is much higher, meaning they are not the usual daydreaming sort that i had become used to. I am more genuinely thinking of the others around me, and seeing the importance of caring for others and being cared for: life is so much better this way!</div><div><br /></div><div>And as Tom often answers many questions: "it depends on your mind." Mindfulness helps keep my mind clear, so that I can depend on it, and in turn, I can be depended on by others.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am very grateful for these last 2 months and will be leaving Baan Kiri in 3 days with a new set of eyes and a new purpose and the knowledge thAt it is up to me and only me whether this purpose gets fulfilled.</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-58832234892809455322011-07-26T08:07:00.000-07:002011-07-26T08:08:41.317-07:00Function Fashion...whats the point?<div>The way we chase after happiness and fullfillment is because we become attached to a feeling. </div><div>For years I would keep travelling and seeking crazier and crazier adventures just to compete with myself and fill myself with the good feeling of being unique and tell others about my uniqueness. I became very good at feeling so cool.</div><div>I thought that real happiness came from this feeling. </div><div>Now I am starting to understand that real happiness comes from fullfilling a purpose, knowing the "why" of whatever we are doing and achieving that purpose. </div><div>Our ideal purpose as humans is to do for others, to make them happy, in return this actually fills us with real happiness. </div><div><br /></div><div>Function before fashion:</div><div>When things are functional they are useful, they serve some purpose. Hiking boots are durable and waterproof for climbing mountains in all conditions. My headband is keeping my hair out of my eyes. If these things serve their purpose it does not matter what they look like.</div><div>Fashionable things are often not very useful, usually quite use-less. They produce a feeling for the user but not much else. Makeup is just used for the feeling it creates, unless it is used As sunblock. A fast sports car looks really cool and gets you somewhere in a hurry but will be useless on rugged terrain or to carry people and things.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sure, there are practical things we need to do for ourselves such as eat to sustain health or dress warm to not freeze to death, but these are things where the purpose is obvious. </div><div>Often, when there is no obvious purpose for an action the reason is most likely selfish. Selfish acts can easily become habit, as I have experienced, and easy to keep us blind to our selfishness. </div><div>This habit can then make it very difficult to think of and do for others. For example, if my mother wants me to vacuum the house, my first thought might be "uggghh, I don't want to do that!" and when i am doing it just so she wont get mad, I create an unpleasant experience for myself. Maximum happiness can be achieved if I simply do it because i know it will make her happy, and with this in mind, i can actually enjoy the task.</div><div><br /></div><div>Make a habit of asking, "why am I doing this?" </div><div>Make a habit of only doing for others.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't be blinded by the passion of fashion,</div><div>Put "fun" in your function!</div><div><br /></div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-65003349779743681672011-07-24T23:38:00.000-07:002011-07-24T23:39:21.364-07:00Compassion Excercise<div>The Compassion Excercise:</div><div>A friend gave me the following excercise on a card that I carry around, and it has helped me to realize the potential of everyone to learn, regardless of how they might seem in the present moment. </div><div>Also has helped to lessen the severity of my automatic mental judgment of others based on appearance (fat people, louis vuittoned gucci-d out people , unaware text messagers, heavily makeupd scantily clad women...physical appearances that gave rise to aversion within me) and see through the facade and realize </div><div>WE ARE ALL THE SAME!</div><div>Happy Practicing : )</div><div> </div><div>THE COMPASSION EXERCISE</div><div>"Just Like Me" by Harry Palmer</div><div>Honesty with one's self leads to compassion for others.</div><div><br /></div><div>Objective: To increase the amount of compassion in the world.</div><div>Expected Result:: Increase in understanding and a personal sense of peace.</div><div>Instructions: This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, events, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively and from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.</div><div><br /></div><div>With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for (his or her) life.</div><div>With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in (his or her) life.</div><div>With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, and despair."</div><div>With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill (his or her) needs."</div><div>With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."</div><div><br /></div><div>Variations of the Just Like Me process:</div><div>Done by couples to increase understanding of each other.</div><div>Done on old enemies and antagonists still present in one's memories.</div><div><br /></div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-49077484133953639112011-07-21T23:13:00.000-07:002011-07-21T23:14:02.126-07:00Zen poem by Layman Pang<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: medium; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><div align="left" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; "><br />When the mind is at peace,<br />the world too is at peace.<br />Nothing real, nothing absent.<br />Not holding on to reality,<br />not getting stuck in the void,<br />you are neither holy nor wise, just<br />an ordinary fellow who has completed his work.<br /></div><div><br /></div></span>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-10499604092372415642011-07-20T23:07:00.000-07:002011-07-20T23:08:35.129-07:00My thoughts on True Love<div>True Love</div><div>I have contemplated Love for a few days (and for many lifetimes beyond that) as it is very important to me to understand certain parts of life that need a deep truth-full understanding in order for proper action. I consider heart centered Love to be one of those vital parts, especially when shared with another person .</div><div> Learning by doing is great and natural to make mistakes but only if we learn from them and break old patterns to come closer to real...like me 4 years ago in my last real serious relationship which was a combo of dream and nightmare, opposite ends of the spectrum, emotionally supercharged and I vowed to do a bit of soul searching before comitting to someone fully, to understand myself.</div><div>So I had a few casual relationships here and there, and kept communication fairly open but often found myself acting out of fear of a repeat of dramaville, and not allowing any woman too close.</div><div>Now I think I am ready, and without forcing anything someday hope to give up my life for her, to live only for her, whoever she may be.</div><div>Why am I ready?</div><div>Because I understand my mind, the impermanence of everything it brings, and learning better and better control my emotions, and to act out of wisdom instead of feeling.</div><div>To understand our minds we can understand others, since we all share the same mind.</div><div>As for intimate, fully comitted soulsharing relationships, there must also be a clear understanding, an open communication as to what the point of being together is...in anything we undertake we should always ask what the point is. The point of having a soulmate for me would be to be loved unconditionall by someone because I love them the same, complete surrender to someone else so the world may become a bit brighter.</div><div>I think the Into The Wild dude said it best that " happiness is only real when shared, " and that is what i am especially experiencing here in Thailand with my sister, my guru, and the couchsurfers that come thru,,,sharing is awesome! Giving without Any desire for compensation is a bit tricky but it is where magic lies and gets easier once the heartwarming benefits pick up speed.</div><div>My guru often says: if we dont care for anybody, then why should anybody care for us...and i see by his example that by doing and thinking constantly of others, serves him quite well to be cared for in return.</div><div>This way feels so right to me it requires no explanation I simply want a partner who i can live completely a thousand percent for and know in my heart that she is doing the same for me...knowing, not expecting...that is why the communication and constant renewal of eachother and the relationship is key, because uncommunicated expectations create unnecesary emotional tangles.</div><div>As far as emotions are concerned, i think true love is an exception in the spectrum...lust, passion, jealousy, infatuation, in-loveness, are all powerful mind/ego emotions that can create turmoil and discomfort and smother that understanding of the point two people unite: to know true, heart based love, calm and peaceful understanding with no room for doubt that these lives that were once two are now one.</div><div>So just ask what the point is and be aware of emotions that come up and be honest to yourself and the other person at all costs and co-muni-cate.</div><div>I also sorta believe that a man needs a strong woman, but a stong woman is perfectly fine solo...it has to do with the life giving capacity of each...women grow the life and give birth...men have one puny orgasm and all their energy is spent...who has more energy? Goddesses.</div><div> But propagation of our species is ideal when there is a conscious and loving mother AND father around.</div><div>This is what I think about that.</div><div>Today was epic as usual, epic food, been catching up on soooo much meat eating its rediculous, i dont think i was vegetarian in any past lives! Cruisin around the motorbikes in the rain, cruised a bookstore for a bit, then we bought a pound of curry paste to bring home and a whole box of nag champa, and discussed more dharma, specifically the cause of suffering (ego) and seeing everyone as equals and not letting our emotions judge their appearance or actions...the things they dont teach you in college....super!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5556386976230306038.post-92169539169198594142011-07-20T21:02:00.000-07:002011-07-20T21:03:43.005-07:00The Art of Living<div>From "The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation as taught by S.N. Goenka"</div><div>Every human being is conditioned to assume that the real wod is outside, that the way to live life is by contact with an external reality, by seeking input, physical and mental, from without. Most of us have never considered severing outward contacts in order to see what happens inside. The idea of doing so probably sounds like choosing to spend hours staring at the test pattern on a television screen. We would rather explore the far side of the moon or the bottom of the ocean than the hidden depths within ourselves. </div><div>But in fact the universe exists fir each of us only when we experience it with body and mind. It is never elsewhere, it is always here and now. By exploring the here-and-now of ourselves we can explore the world. Unless we investigate the world within, we can never know reality- we will only know our beliefs about it, or our intellectual conceptions of it. By observing ourselves however, we can come to know reality directly and can learn to deal with it in a positive, creative way.</div>Griggahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17319002347079785033noreply@blogger.com0