today's quotes

"We are all going hungry in a Universe that constantly eats itself"
                 -me

"The only downhill to no uphill is now downhill"
                 -Az

"i know that i dont have to trouble myself with all this phantasmal multiplicity---but i do for the hell of it." Kerouac in 'Some of the Dharma' My worst fear at the moment is always being just a little bit bad while trying to be all good, because being bad is entertaining to the senses in precisely a 'just for the hell of it' way. Temptation of the senses gushing phantasmal multiplicty. All I really know is that I dont't KNOW, but just for the hell of it I will tell you what I THINK I know

The weight of the world is Light

I care. About all of you. I wish you All well.

can't get out? get IN!

I was quiTe shellshocked for the first few months being home, so many unanswered questions for the future burning my mind constantly, always finding a way to explain my situation to others (not really knowing my situation in the first place). I had built a large comfort zone in the world of travel and pleasure seeking and now I was in a place far from that comfort zone...

so "if you cant get out of it, get into it" (i heard that the other day).

What has helped me is being patient and being present. I am a daydreamer and have a million dreams per day but have slowly worked on my mind to stamp them out before they become an unnecessary wild fire.
Sending wishes to those in my life, primarily family, and setting the intention for a bright future is much more simple then getting lost in my mindmess.
With my parents I just keep practicing patience, and thinkin before talking/reacting. Paying attention to them and thinking about them more (like just a phone call during the day) is what I am working on now.
When we just relax and accept our situation there is really a whole lot to be grateful for and that is what keeps me going and not paying attention to silly desires to travel and pleasure seek, as there is plenty more value I am finding in local interaction and building relationships.
So now 5 months at home and I have. Noticed many improvements in home life, work life, and social life. Just go with the flow and not be worried about having your ideal imagined future, but just knowing, really in the heart knowing, that abundance lies within, and will surely radiate out to the life you build around you...this is a fact of science, the laws of nature!
As for the people around me, i have for long time been very instantly judging of people, comparing them to my ideal view of the world. And then, i dont know when, i decided to accept the Reality that Is, and focus my actions in Creating the Compassionate Reality I want to see. It is a slow and shifty process. I look at alot of people everyday. Sometimes just a glance, and sometimes a stare. This almost always occupied by a string of thoughts.
An example:
I pass by a McDonalds and see a father and his kid eating:
I used to think: "how cAn he feed his child such shit food?, what is wrong with these people? Poor kid will probably grow up fat and have health problems. Mcdonalds, fucking evil bastards taking peoples money and feeding them shit!"
All this from one glance.
Poor me.
Then when i started to observe these thoughts and question them and understand this is the egos clever trickery of convincing us that we are the knowitall centers of the universe.
Now the same glance:
There might still be the hint of "i know that food is not nutritious" however the thought is redirected towards the positive, because perhaps my negative thought can in some quantum way make their experience more negative. "i see what i see, it is there, i am just seeing. Good for the father to spend time with his son, i hope they are having fun enjoying their food. I hope the father provides the best he can for his child, cute kid.
It all depends how you (the objective observer) see it (the external environment), and in what way it gets processed by your subjective ego-eye.
One last thing, about peoples faces looking. If they look grumpy angry or sad, first of all, am I superhuman that I can know this about a person i have just seen?

I have long convinced myself I know what people are thinking.

Even if you ask them, you still dont know if they are telling you the truth. So I use the weakness of my wild imagination, as a strength and imagine them in a moment of laughter and happiness, because surely they have laughed or smiled at some point in their life. Then this may in some quantum way get them feeling a little lighter if they actually are grumpy angry or sad.
So, because I have gotten into this I have alleviated the thoughts of wanting to get out...when i was On the Road I always had this itchy anxiety of what was next, how to plan my escape from anywhere and get out, and then there would follow a small, fleeting buzzy high upon my exit and the pattern would repeat. this kept me in the daydream and out of the present (gift) quite often. The wonder-full present has now shown me its gift and I understand its pricelessness a bit better, and i gladly accept it.

We must accept it, and get into it.
Keep sending wishes, and being mindful. Especially those who have just returned home. The shellshock will wear off, and you will become truly useful to All.

Fail to live, live to fail

I've got a train to catch

The train of Awareness does not leave the station. It is waiting for You. No need to rush, but the sooner you get on it, the sooner you can Love where it takes you, because it goes Everywhere! Once On, you stay On

GIY

DIY has evolved into GIY: Google It Yourself, or, 'If you don't know, ask' has evolved to 'If you don't know, just google it'...I wonder if Darwin could have seen this one coming, i think its pretty cool

Rickshaw Wisdom of the Day:

Time and Money.

Two of the best Pink Floyd songs.

Two 'ideas' that balance eachother out.

spend time, save money...spend money, save time.

then REALIZE they are not even REAL!

Holding on to either of these (or any ideas)

will scorch you like the first bite of a Hot Pocket that you were too impatient to let cool. Be cool, let it cool.

Meditating is soooooo boring

"You should all bear in mind that this practice is difficult. To train other things is not so difficult, it's easy, but the human mind is hard to train. The Lord Buddha trained his mind. The mind is the important thing. Everything within this body-mind system comes together at the mind. The eyes, ears, nose, tongue and body all receive sensations and send them into the mind, which is the supervisor of all the other sense organs. Therefore it is important to train the mind. If the mind is well trained all problems come to an end. If there are still problems it's because the mind still doubts, it doesn't know in accordance with the truth. That is why there are problems. " http://www.ajahnchah.org/

Prent Moment Wisdom

why is mindfulness so important? In the present moment I observe what is really going on, what is happening NOW, I start to notice patterns in my ways of thinking and reacting to life's situations, and I begin to understand my conditioning, and I begin to observe the moments more an more and to investigate the root of my thoughts, and to let go of dreaming and doubt and let the bright light of the present shine through and clarify everything, and by calming the conditions the seed of Wisdom can flourish, and the Wisdom tree show me my connection to everything and helps me branch out to the Others sharing in this Life Experience, and the vines are intertwined so I cannot simply do something without it not affecting somebody else, so I have a duty to leave the best effect I can and selfishness just will not suffice, but selflessness takes diligent practice and observation and questioning the conditioning of decades of wanting and unwanting and sensory intercourse with my environment...after all Uncle Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living" . . . MY LIFE IS WORTH LIVING, so I stay present, and wherever my thoughts travel, I bring them back to present so that i can see clearly, and examine in a correct way this thing I call Myself and create that worth that will add the most Beauty to the path I walk along.

Explain it Einstein!

Who? Me.

For several years before coming to Thailand I was a seasonal gypsy breaking further and further away from the perceived 'restraints' of modern capitalist society. Having grown up in an urban environment (NYC) with parents who gave me everything and an education that trained me to be a complacent worker I was living life for money and self -enjoyment. After university I was hustling freelance work in the city and then almost got a cool job driving the Red Bull cars around giving out Red Bull, but after a long interview process and building up huge expectations of how awesome life with a good job would be, they didnt give me the job because of points on my driver's license. I was crushed by this and decided that i would pursue enjoyment instead of money so I left everything behind to go snowboarding in Oregon for one winter. That winter opened my eyes to Western living and a vastly different and more natural way of life than i was used to. Fast forward 5 years and I had lived no more than 5 months in one place, not worked very hard, enjoyed myself pursuing passions such as travel, snowboarding, surfing, bicycling, and consuming psychadelic drugs. I had simplified life, living very cheaply, and very proud of my power to manifest such a fruitful life without material restraint and responsibility; I was a "hippy" going "full weirdo for the commonfolk" as I often put it. I was all about peace and love but felt a big feeling of "us vs. them" meaning I had an understanding of the way life should really be but there was so many people who were merely pawns of the system, asleep, depressed, eating shitty meat and processed sugars and I had to wake them up. This gave me a frustrated feeling and assured me that i could never live within "normal" society ever again. I had acquired piles and piles of spiritual and metaphysical knowledge, but no real understanding of much (kind of like a jack of all trades, master of none). So this past summer I set the intention to have a life changing experience, accompanied with a strong feeling that I had progressed to a point where change was inevitable. The form of this life changing experience was to take place somewhere in northern scandinavia (because I heard that getting as close to the magnetic poles of the earth has a profound effect) pedaling my bicycle around on LSD or mushrooms until I reached enlightenment or at least breached the three dimensional restriction of this reality. While I was making preparations for this journey I was emailing my sister Katina and she was seriously blowing my mind with what she was telling me based on her time at Baan Kiri(my guru Tom Light's guest house), and I was amazed that she was going to Vipassana...Here was my little sister schooling me on ideas that made complete sense that put certain things into perspective that had been fuzzy previously; about karma, and compassion, and selfishness especially. I found this to be truly cosmic, and when she offered to buy me a ticket to Thailand, one way, I quickly said yes, and then dealt with the anxiety of wanting to change my mind later. That is how I ended up meeting Tom. I remember my first few nights at Tom's, laughing myself to sleep in utter disbelief that THIS was the lifechanging experience i had set the intention for, because as much as I wanted to run away and never come back, what i had heard was making too much sense and although I knew it would be difficult, a big part of me was willing to accept the difficulty just to see what was next....This was a big step for me because I usually made difficult things easy by running away from them. I still struggle sometimes accepting my duty to do for others, when i was so used to doing for myself, but the Buddha's teachings of impermanence reminds me that these feelings are only temporary, and there is something magical in pleasing more than just my self.