Mary Poppins' Purse

Sleeping in a van is a neat experience when you spend most of your life sleeping in warm rooms in a bed. Warm rooms do not have wheels which is a huge advantage. Currently my van, Mary Poppin's Purse (MPP), is parked outside my friends apartment perpendicular to the road just outside Tahoe City heading towards Alpine Meadows and Squaw Valley. On sunny days the morning sun blasts through my windows and slowly warms the van up and is a nice treat since I am STILL unemployed and can sleep in if I want. I wake slowly and lazily and watch and listen to the oncoming traffic whizzing and rhizzing (if they have studded tires) by. I can paint pictures with my feet if there is condensation on the window, which there usually is as my breath is fairly hot in the cold night. On snowy nights the snowplows sound like angry space ships coming in for a closer look at my colorful Poseidon Wizard mural, since most vehicles on this planet are one solid color. The snowplow alien brain processes information so incredibly rapidly that it learns the entire history of the soul that lurks in the mostly white but slightly colorful tin box.

Here is a quick run through of the steps I take to conveniently van camp in the winter time:

First and foremost, I pee and/or poo so that I do not get the urge in the middle of the night and need to leave my warm sleep cocoon. Lately I have been peeing outside MPP and staring at the zillions of stars and wonder if there is anyone staring at my beautiful planet. I know some van dwellers who have a bottle of sorts specifically reserved for urine in their van so that if they need relief in the middle of the night it can all be taken care of without stepping outside. As for poo it becomes a bit trickier but there is always the doubled up plastic bag trick. This involves laying 2 plastic bags (one if you are feeling brave or just don't have 2 bags) open and flat on the floor. Then just pop a squat and dook onto the plastic bag, wipe with toilet paper and put that on the pile. Quickly wrap the bags up and place outside until the morning when you can properly discard the waste...try not to forget about your bag'o'poo.

OK now that the biological details are taken care of it is time to cozy up. I take my jeans off and put on my favorite long johns and a warm pair of socks. I put a hooded sweatshirt on over whatever other top layers are on already. I have a neat microfiber balaclava to keep my dome warm...I have worn beanies in the past but the balaclava is nice as it keeps my cheeks and chin warm. Beanies are good for blocking out morning light if you are trying to sleep in. On really cold nights I also wear a thin pair of gloves, just for comfort. Now I am ready to slide into my sleeping bag. The bag I have is only 40 degree rated so it is not sufficient to sleep in by itself but I can hang out in it reading or writing or other random van activities that take place before bed.

Just this year I decided to get some candles for MPP which have proven good for meditation or some face warmth or just a nice ambient flickering light when the tungsten just isn't doing my head right. Under candlelight, on really cold nights I find it very calming to just sit and breath towards the light. Due to the stillness in the van I can manipulate my breath into millions of smoky dancing ghosts. Sometimes I will play music on the tiny portable speakers I acquired from a friend years ago. Usually I just read as it is my favorite and easiest way of falling asleep, unless I am severely drunk or stoned then I just lay there all chinky eyed and contemplate life and my existence.

Once it is time to clock out for the evening I get fully in my sleeping bag, put my hood up and cover myself with a duve'ed down comforter which I also acquired from a friend years ago. It is all free you see. Usually I do not like being completely under the covers as it becomes stuffy and claustrophobic due to my dragon breath so I tend to keep my nose and mouth poking out to breath the crisp air. My sleeping surface is a futon pad, also acquired free from a friend (its good to have friends in this life). The backrest on the bench seat of the van folds over to make a larger flat surface. There is a bit of an inconsistency due to the gap in between the bench and backrest and the bench sags slightly but it gives me options depending on what sort of sleeping mood I am in. I can lay completely on one side or the other or diagonally across both, my choice. I am 5 foot 10 and can lay straight across MPP with my head and feet barely touching the sides.

Then I sleep. I sleep as sound as any bed couch floor or dirt patch I have ever slept on. People often offer me couches and I decline since I have a bed in MPP. Rainstorms are a treat as it is like having surround sound of one of those mood dics playing the pitter patter of rain drops all around. Just last night the wind was howling and MPP was actually shaking quite a bit. I woke up wishing it was shaking for other reasons but we cannot always be that lucky hey? Where I am parked now is right next to an enormous tree of the piney sort. This tree was loving drumming away on MPP's roof all night. The concert sounded like piff boosh poosh pbooooosh pof pof biff boof with the occasional high note of BAM! and then I think it is Luke trying to wake me up by throwing the soccer ball at the window.

Wake up time is the reverse of going to sleep. Out of the covers, sleeping bag, balaclava, long johns, gloves, hoodie and into my jeans, shoes, and out the door to a beautiful new day. During this mornings exit the monster tree instantly thwapped my wrist with a snowball; I chuckled...that tree and I have a funny relationship. I think it is just lonely standing there all by itself all day with so much mechanical activity going on around it. It is always dropping its collected moisture on me, it knows I enjoy it.

Hopefully soon MPP will be buried up to her grill in the fluff and I will have a ski pass and a job and perhaps even a female body to share my cozy quarters with. It is incredible how much warmer it becomes with the heat of two bodies, and especially if those bodies are generating extra heat...cheeeeeeeky.