Death Dream

To me, dreams are just another means to raise an eyebrow and a reminder that life is a truly intricate design worthy of respect and awe. I used to try and draw meaning from my dreams, especially the few that have very directly connected to my waking life and even sort of predicted the future, but like anything metaphysical, and the simple fact that I cannot really KNOW anything, I decided it was a waste of energy to go any further than awe and respect. I tried reading Carl Jung's book on dream analysis once and it was so bloody complex and intellectualy ornate that it helped me with the realization that some things are just better left unanalyzed.
Things such as dreams, and non-linear time, and no-such-thing-as-self, and the current three dimensional reality being limited to our five senses and the mind (what does the other 92% of our brain do?), and auras and crystal energies, and enlightened individuals that can perform miracles (real life superheroes!), and so many interesting things that cannot be easily directly experienced and is really just for intellectual (or wannabe-intellectual) speculation; the useful stuff involves this three dimensional sensual and mental reality that I am an active participant in right NOW.
In this age of efficiency I am not trying to waste any time (time, ha!), but I am pretty damn good at it.
My dreams, when remembered, put little quizzical grins on my face before I get out of bed, and I usually will share them with my company that day to see who else is experiencing mind boggling dream-reality.
Last night I had a death dream, where I was taking part in a sort of game where I choose three ways to kill someone, and kill them those three ways and then they get to kill me in three ways of their choosing. I cannot recall the ways in which I killed, but when it was my turn to be killed I remember hoping that the methods would not be very painful. One of the methods was going to be extremely painful and brutal and I was overcome with a terrible momentary feeling fear of this pain, but then I told myself that it is part of the game that I chose to play and I must play by the rules. I cannot remember much more except that I laid down to be killed one of the times and had accepted my fate because dying was just a physical thing and did not effect my spirit.
Lately my dreams have involved strong emotions and sensations that seem very real at the time; like being determined to learn to fly and knowing I can if I keep trying; and enjoying playing a soccer game against children because it was so easy to score goals; and thinking my friend was crazy for smoking some kind of strange drug with the texture of sea sponge but smoking it anyway so I would not be judged by him; and seeing a full moon so close and so bright and then it did a complete 180 and I saw the Dark Side of the Moon right infront of me but felt that it must have been me who flipped because the moon does not rotate; and being really jealous because a girl I really like (in real life and in dream) chose a pro surfer instead of me.
A friend of mine told me the other day that in a few days there will be a cosmic event that will influence our dreams and bring them closer to our waking life, or something along those lines. Speculation to keep in the mental rolodex for cross referencing with my upcoming dreams.
If you are reading this and thought of interesting dreamworlds ou have visited recently, please share them, my eyebrows can always go higher on my large head.

Bon Voyage Kaleb (collub)

Kalebs parting letter

The following is a parting gift to my good hobo bicyclist brother Kaleb before he sets out on a 9 month pedal across Asia in search of, well, mainly food and shelter, and alot of confused looks from locals. Mays his days be filled with pedaling pavement and prosperity, and maybe a bit of that other p-word men seem to love so much.

Parting words....been reading Rumi slowly these days just for kicks since im just kicking it with my 86 year young grandmother who gets drunk off a glass of wine and tries to turn on the television with the telephone...ah to be old and wrinkled, someday someday,

but now we embrace youth! (remind me i said to remind me to say i said to say that when i am wrinkled, remind me)...

"dont be a searcher wrapped in the importance of his own quest"

On your journey, just represent humanity in the best way possible,

lend a hand whenever you can,

expect only the unexpected,

and heed the call of each days blessing,

even if you are bug bitten and have the shits those are the times to feel the blessing even more...

bike touring is lucrative for the ego as you return home to constant showers of oooos and ahhhhhs and "i wish i could do thats"...

thats not the point...

forget the destination, you know you will get there but once you arrive the next journey has already begun so do we ever really arrive anwhere?!

Think about that...

just be now.

How does one person maintain sanity sitting in the same room their entire life?

Simple, they just look at that room each morning for the first time...

that sounds insane but who is really sane anyfucking way?

"when someone is counting out

gold for you, dont look at your hands,

or the gold. Look at the giver."

Look at the giver

Look at the giver.

Look at the giver.

Look at the giver.

That one is self explanatory, but know that the giver is all around you and you are the giver too!

Dont forget to smile at everything and laugh even at times when you want to curse the evil bastards that burned you or the chick you thought was a chick but now her huge boner is rubbing against yours...

laughter is the best medicine,

if i see you crying or complaining im gonna come slap the shit outta you and make you piss your pants with laughter.

I know you get the point,

but you may think you are going on a grand bicycle journey in a faraway land.

That is not true.

You are just sharing life on a planet as a human with other humans looking for a good time the same as you,

no different,

no differences...except you will be in spandex, which will make people piss themselves with laughter so that puts you on the right track already.

Im sorry for all the meat i couldnt share with you last summer, and all the meat you missed out on as a result of my selfishness...as if we could afford it anyway,

but now i put fang to flesh on the daily...

life is too short to not fully integrate into humanity,

like a true mothafucking chameleon.

The fringe is nice for a glimpse to see whats out there (and far ouuuuut have we gone!)

but those gathered in the middle are keeping the core nice and warm and I like a good snuggle.

Snuggle nuggle,

C

Free knowledge!!!

Open your eyes! The best teachers are all around us in......

N A T U R E

Live like a sun, let everything you touch grow.

Live like wind, bypass obstacles on your way, do not try to move them.

Live like water, change shape, color, and taste depending on where life carries you: FLOW!

Live like earth, be patient and accept everything that gets put on you.

Strength versus FLEXIBILITY

• I recently posted this status update on Facebook:
• "If you are strong, opposing forces will crash and smash into you, if you are flexible, you absorb the opposing force and slingshot it right back into itself, leaving no effect on yourself, yeah? "
• ...and my friend replied "depends on the situation, yeah?"
• ...so I thought about it for a bit and replied:
• 
  
• Im back in the matrix now so I'll keep my eyes open for examples in my experience, but I'm pretty sure that flexible provides the best possible outcome...it indicates a passionate level of acceptance, and an open-mindedness that does not stand against anything, but WITH everything.
• There is strength in flexibility but very little flexibility in strength, if any at all.
• Nature is flexible, therefore so should we be, as we are merely natural processes with intention.
• I believe that a strong mind is a closed mind, such as I have been in the past, creating a separation between me and others by holding onto certain beliefs of "i am" so strongly, making these opposing forces affect me negatively, because I knew best and everyone should surely do as I do, "but why can't the just fucking wake up!?"
• The ego is a clever little devil and will justify its egocentricity in ways so subtle that I could not even realize how big my ego was (because I was so spiritual and pure blah blah blah). Its just a big swirl of cause and effect out there, in here. If we understand the cause ( mind ) we can produce positive effects ( actions ) now, but must accept our karma from the past, and not try and go against it and create more negative karma.
• Karma is a whole nother issue I have been educated on recently, and that is why I believe in flexibility and a true going-with-the-flow-of-everything attitude. I do what I can do and practice keeping the ego-enablers quiet in the corner of my monkey mind (monkey because the mind is always moving but can be calmed) and produce positive actions that help others. Life is awe-full!"
• 
  
• Do you have any examples of how flexibility is preferable to strength?

The camera technique

The camera technique (objective observation of the self, like having a camera pointed on yourself) is a tool for practicing mindfulness, to be aware of the present moment. By practicing observation of my thoughts and actions in each moment I have begun to understand my self more clearly. I can see the benefit of care-full observation in order to act appropriately in each situation, with the ultimate goal (without wanting) of being the most useful I can be for others.

When I am listening to someone, I practice listening, focusing my attention on them. When I am driving, I am focused on driving, when eating, I focus on eating. When I am contemplating, i focus on the object of contemplation.

Anywhere my thoughts might drift during these moments, i observe them, and then patiently return to the present. I say patiently because there have been times where i get angry or frustrated with myself for losing focus, which is silly; to become excited that i am doing it right or to get nervous that i am doing it wrong is wasted energy. The middle way is patient, not strict or overwhelming.

After all, a lifetime of habitual daydreaming does not change overnight. Mindfulness must be made habit through consistent practice. Tom describes a tap dripping water into a cup: if the dripping is consistent, the cup will eventually fill up (with awareness) but if there are only a few drips here and there, the water has time to dry up before accumulating.

When I left for vipassana 7 weeks ago, Tom told me to not worry about the form but to remember the tool. The tool is mindfulness, and by practicing consistently we are basically meditating all day long, everything becomes a meditation. The present moment is where we must exist, because it is real, unlike the past or future.

I can safely say that I have noticed progress in my practice in these past seven weeks. My quality of thoughts is much higher, meaning they are not the usual daydreaming sort that i had become used to. I am more genuinely thinking of the others around me, and seeing the importance of caring for others and being cared for: life is so much better this way!

And as Tom often answers many questions: "it depends on your mind." Mindfulness helps keep my mind clear, so that I can depend on it, and in turn, I can be depended on by others.

I am very grateful for these last 2 months and will be leaving Baan Kiri in 3 days with a new set of eyes and a new purpose and the knowledge thAt it is up to me and only me whether this purpose gets fulfilled.

Function Fashion...whats the point?

The way we chase after happiness and fullfillment is because we become attached to a feeling.

For years I would keep travelling and seeking crazier and crazier adventures just to compete with myself and fill myself with the good feeling of being unique and tell others about my uniqueness. I became very good at feeling so cool.

I thought that real happiness came from this feeling.

Now I am starting to understand that real happiness comes from fullfilling a purpose, knowing the "why" of whatever we are doing and achieving that purpose.

Our ideal purpose as humans is to do for others, to make them happy, in return this actually fills us with real happiness.

Function before fashion:

When things are functional they are useful, they serve some purpose. Hiking boots are durable and waterproof for climbing mountains in all conditions. My headband is keeping my hair out of my eyes. If these things serve their purpose it does not matter what they look like.

Fashionable things are often not very useful, usually quite use-less. They produce a feeling for the user but not much else. Makeup is just used for the feeling it creates, unless it is used As sunblock. A fast sports car looks really cool and gets you somewhere in a hurry but will be useless on rugged terrain or to carry people and things.

Sure, there are practical things we need to do for ourselves such as eat to sustain health or dress warm to not freeze to death, but these are things where the purpose is obvious.

Often, when there is no obvious purpose for an action the reason is most likely selfish. Selfish acts can easily become habit, as I have experienced, and easy to keep us blind to our selfishness.

This habit can then make it very difficult to think of and do for others. For example, if my mother wants me to vacuum the house, my first thought might be "uggghh, I don't want to do that!" and when i am doing it just so she wont get mad, I create an unpleasant experience for myself. Maximum happiness can be achieved if I simply do it because i know it will make her happy, and with this in mind, i can actually enjoy the task.

Make a habit of asking, "why am I doing this?"

Make a habit of only doing for others.

Don't be blinded by the passion of fashion,

Put "fun" in your function!

Compassion Excercise

The Compassion Excercise:

A friend gave me the following excercise on a card that I carry around, and it has helped me to realize the potential of everyone to learn, regardless of how they might seem in the present moment.

Also has helped to lessen the severity of my automatic mental judgment of others based on appearance (fat people, louis vuittoned gucci-d out people , unaware text messagers, heavily makeupd scantily clad women...physical appearances that gave rise to aversion within me) and see through the facade and realize

WE ARE ALL THE SAME!

Happy Practicing : )

THE COMPASSION EXERCISE

"Just Like Me" by Harry Palmer

Honesty with one's self leads to compassion for others.

Objective: To increase the amount of compassion in the world.

Expected Result:: Increase in understanding and a personal sense of peace.

Instructions: This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, events, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively and from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, and despair."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill (his or her) needs."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."

Variations of the Just Like Me process:

Done by couples to increase understanding of each other.

Done on old enemies and antagonists still present in one's memories.